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The No.1 lie about Tantra massage is that Tantra massage is a massage with a happy ending. It’s not.
Tantra massage is a beautiful experience of sacred intimacy with yourself. It's nothing like it's sometimes portrayed by those who incorrectly use the term 'Tantra'.
Tantra massage can take you deep, into a profound connection with the bliss of your own being.
How much bliss do you allow yourself to have in your life?
We have a problem with bliss, with pleasure in this culture. Google lists almost 81 million results for the term 'pleasure anxiety', and terms like 'guilty pleasures' are in common use.
When you were young, were you encouraged to enjoy healthy pleasure in your body? And take your time to discover all the deliciousness of that?
Or did you learn to masturbate to ejaculation as hard and as fast as you could?
If the latter, you might think that ejaculation is the height of sexual pleasure rather than the pleasure ceiling it can be.
You may also believe that orgasm and ejaculation are the same thing. They’re not! They’re two events that tend to happen simultaneously.
In a Tantra massage your powerful sexual energy isn't expended in ejaculation. Instead you use your breath to move this through and enliven every cell in your being.
So Tantra massage is an experience of expansion, integration and liberation. It’s a pleasure that goes way beyond mere ejaculation.
Over time, with Divine Ground Tantra Massage and solo homeplay, you can learn if you wish, how to attain ejaculatory choice. So you can last longer in lovemaking whilst enjoying every minute of lovemaking yourself. You can learn how it's most definitely not about straining to last long enough to please your partner alone.
Imagine if all you've eaten all your life is egg and chips. Then one day someone puts a juicy steak in front of you with lashings of onions and mushrooms. This is then completed with a baked potato drooling with butter with a bowl of a delicious sauce on the side.
You might wonder what it will taste like. After all, you've seen nothing like this before. But once you taste it you realise, “Wow, I've been missing something here”. You'd find it hard to go back to plain old egg and chips after that.
Are you in the rut of every time you have an erection, thinking it has to lead to ejaculation?
Have you been existing on a diet that’s the sexual equivalent of egg and chips?
If so, you’ve no idea what you’ve been missing out on!
Often you won't try something new if your usual fare is on the menu. In a Tantra massage, ejaculation is taken off the table completely so you can have a more expanded experience.
Now you might not want that. Tantra massage isn't for everyone.
You might want an erotic or sensual massage with a happy ending. If so, it's good to know what you want. Pleasure needs no justification. Now let go of any shame about wanting that experience.
Just don’t call that a Tantra massage because an erotic massage with a happy ending is NOT a Tantra massage.
In our culture there is much shame associated with pleasure, especially erotic pleasure. So some masseuses and clients play the game of calling erotic massage Tantra massage. And this is where massive confusion originates.
Which causes problems...
Men who could benefit immensely from all that genuine Tantra massage has to offer, shy away and professional Tantra practitioners exit the profession. And life becomes more difficult for those who remain.
You as a Tantric practitioner, as a sexual practitioner using the word Tantra needs to be truthful to Tantra and truthful to what is actually serving those men...If you give him (a client) a happy ending you're not really serving him...you're keeping him locked into the only reality he knows, which is he needs to ejaculate in order to have pleasure, he needs to ejaculate in order to feel satisfied, and that is not the reality, that is not the truth. Because the truth is that a guy can have much more pleasure and much more satisfaction and a deeper level of satisfaction if you can teach this man to last longer, to have a sexual experience without ejaculating....If you get a man to ejaculate, it's the lowest level of service that you can offer." Eyal Matsliah.
A happy ending massage ends with a release of sexual tension through ejaculation.
Tantra massage has a completely different focus and intention. It doesn't release sexual tension through ejaculation.
It harnesses sexual energy. Which along with using your breath, you flow through your entire being.
So in Tantra massage you can have an experience of the integration of your mind, body, heart, soul, sex and spirit, along with a sense of healing any disconnection or split between these.
Which is a very different focus and intention to a happy ending massage isn't it?
So now you know why a happy ending is not part of a Tantra massage.
If you want a Tantra massage it’s wise to do your own careful research first. Peer behind the veil of what's on offer.
Here’s 7 ways to know if what's presented to you as a Tantra massage is a Tantra massage. Or something else.
It doesn’t matter if during a so-called Tantra massage you’re brought to the edge a few times before ejaculating. Because when ejaculation is the end point, it will always be the focus.
The end result is that your energy is being expended rather than cultivated.
The root of the word ‘Tantra’ means to expand and to liberate. A happy ending is the same old, same old. Repeating a limited and limiting experience. A happy ending is generally not conducive to expansion, integration or liberation.
To live as a slave to your unintegrated sexual urges. In the long term, this can lead to some of the more common so-called sexual problems that plague many men today.
And you know it's not really satisfying for you. Or for your partner. But up to now maybe you never knew there was another way?