Hi, I'm Abi,
I work with men over 40 who worry about their sexual performance, are frustrated they can't last longer in bed, or sometimes can't get or sustain an erection...
even though their doctor says they can find no reason why.
Whether you've been experiencing any of the above issues for a while, or are bewildered by their sudden appearance in your life, "Why me, why now when I've never had a problem before?", take a breath. You're not broken. It's not your fault. And you're not alone.
While you may understandably think very few men have these issues because no-one talks about them, that's not so...
One study found an overall prevalence of erectile dysfunction of 76.5% in men over 50.²
A 2023 literature review estimates worldwide prevalence of premature ejaculation varies from 30% to 85%.¹
But this is your one life,
and cold, clinical statistics don't tell the full story, do they?
In fact, they don't come close.
They leave out the real human cost that can't be defined by numbers. The stress, embarrassment and disappointment a man lives with. Along with the fear of it getting worse in time.
A survey of 5,000 people in 2017 on the state of sexual relationships in the U.K. found that of the men surveyed, 44.4% cited sexual dysfunction as the main cause of sexual dissatisfaction and sexual problems.
Welcome, I'm Abi O'Donovan
I'm a Sexual/Spiritual Integration Coach, Accredited Certified Clinical EFT Practitioner and Certified Tantra Coach.
Over 25 years ago, I made a decision to experientially confront the sexual fear, guilt and shame that I'd taken on in my growing up years. This led to a transformative, life-affirming, long voyage of discovery that put paid to the lie that one can be spiritual or sexual, but not both.
Since 2013, I've worked intimately with hundreds of men as a Tantra massage practitioner in Ireland for over 7 years. This led to and inspired the work I do worldwide, online today. If you'd like to learn more about me and my story click here.
Over time, I began to see patterns in men who expressed concern about their sexual performance, or ability to last in lovemaking, or sustain an erection.
Especially the pattern illustrated in this graphic, in which a disempowering dialogue takes place between a man's mind and his genitals.
This can leave a man not really feeling IN his body. And is the forerunner for the inevitable outcome he so desperately wants to avoid.
When Your Doctor Can Find Nothing Wrong
Often a doctor will tell a man they can't see any reason for his bedroom woes. So if there's nothing the matter with his physical body, it's worth asking, what in the non-physical part of him could be contributing to what he's experiencing physically?
This includes, thoughts, feelings, emotions, beliefs, state of consciousness, level of energy, level of stress, memories of past experiences, including those buried in the subconscious mind that he has no awareness of.
Now consider this; in every computer system there's hardware and software. It's the software that's responsible for what the hardware produces, and the software will do whatever it's programmed to do.
The disempowering dialogue between the mind and genitals is like a rogue program that's been installed into your system.
So what could specifically help a man to uninstall an energetic program that doesn't serve him? And unwind a spiral of negative thoughts that may be contributing to results he doesn't want?
My #1 tool of choice for this today is Clinical EFT, the evidence-based form of EFT Tapping, (Emotional Freedom Techniques).
The Science Behind EFT Tapping
There is a growing body of impressive clinical research for its effectiveness in working with a wide variety of issues. Including over 100 scientific papers published in peer-reviewed medical and psychology journals that include over 50 randomized controlled trials, 5 meta analyses, outcome studies, and review articles.
The video below is the recording of my conversation with Gene Monterastelli of Tapping Q & A from this year's 24 Hours of Tapping Event in support of the Peaceful Heart Network.
Click anywhere on the image below to watch the video.
Do You Feel Tense Before Lovemaking?
If you feel tense or anxious before and/or during lovemaking, you may have no idea how much that can play a part in your inability to last longer or to get and stay hard. Nor what it is to experience relaxed arousal. To put yourself into a state in which your sexual energy can follow its natural flow, and your partner is better able to relax around you and enjoy more.
Divine Ground Tantraᵀᴹ Coaching offers a new perspective, guidance and transformational tools so that relaxed arousal may become your new default.
One of the reasons this is important because it's so much harder, often impossible, for a woman to relax around a man who's stressed and tense. So if you really want to please a woman, to live your highest potential as a lover, know that being in a relaxed state of heightened arousal isn't an option, it's the way.
Disclaimer: As a Sexual Spiritual Integration coach, I do not provide any medical, psychological, or any other licensed health care advice, option, or service and do not diagnose, treat, or cure any disease, condition, or other physical or mental ailment, including male sexual dysfunction.
I'm especially inspired to work with men who grew up in a Catholic environment. Whether you think "Oh, I'm done with all that now", or you live a faith that has deep meaning for you, it's my intention to hold a safe space for you.
Today, I offer...
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Be reassured
I would encourage any man if he has any concerns about any aspects of his sexuality to contact Abi and be reassured and guided by her to work through any issues in a safe and caring space.
Jim, Co. Galway
A lovely way
Abi has a lovely way about her that makes you feel you’ve known her all your life.
Tom, Co. Kerry
A safe space
I would recommend Abi to anyone. Especially to men who may be afraid of sex or intimacy, as it’s such a safe space for them to open up.
To any man who may be feeling a bit depleted, stressed, or would love to feel more confident.
