Do you ever think,
“My erection isn’t as strong as it used to be.”
“How can I get back to the way things used to be?”
“I guess it’s because of my age. I have to accept it’s part of getting older.”
Do You Ever Fear Your Erection Will Let You Down?
Do you crave intimacy yet withdraw from physical contact with your partner? Or had a partner withdraw from you? Do you avoid getting into a new relationship, because you fear that your erection will let you down?
Does this leave you feeling isolated and alone? Untouched? Worried that you’ll never regain your confidence, or your erection?
You’re Not Alone
Do you think that there’s nobody you can talk to about it? And that erectile dissatisfaction or dysfunction only affects a small minority of men? Not so. In fact, an estimated 50% of men in their 50s and above share this mortifying experience.
Is It An Age Thing?
Some medical conditions and medications can be factors in E.D*. Outside of these, is it an age thing? Is it inevitable that it will happen to you someday if it hasn’t already? What can you do to stave it off?
Instead of being quick to accept an age induced decline, let the wisdom of nature show you another way…
This photograph is of a shrub, Philadelphus ‘Belle Etoile’, a type of mock orange. Now well over 30 years old it ‘should’ be on its last legs. But it’s not. Far from it! It flowers for weeks every year. Abundantly and profusely. And looks strong, fresh and vibrant today. While the scent of the flowers would take your breath away.
Most philadelphus at this age are nothing more than a tangled mess of twiggy dead branches. With any sparse new growth spindly and unimpressive. And only the odd flower appearing.
So why does this one grow and flower so magnificently? Why does it throw out so many strong, turgid, fresh shoots? Some of which by midsummer were already over 3 feet long?
Because it carries no dead wood.
Dead Wood Or Live Wood?
Each year, as soon as it’s finished flowering, the old flowered wood gets cut away. To make room for the new wood, which will carry next year’s flowers.
So there’s no tangled mess to clog its growth. Nothing to stop the sun and fresh air from flowing through the entire structure. Because it’s not burdened by carrying dead wood.
So even in advanced age, it can regenerate strongly.
What About You?
Are you carrying dead wood today? That you’re giving your precious life energy to? That leaves you with little energy left to produce live wood?
It may be catastrophic to feel your erection is letting you down. To fear that it will get worse. But before you label yourself as having a ‘dysfunction’ it’s wise to ask yourself these questions…
“Is the wisdom of my body trying to tell me something? What is my body asking me to pay attention to? Am I pouring my energy into dead wood that I need to cut out?”
What Does Your Dead Wood Look Like?
Now you need to recognise your dead wood before you can cut it out. Here’s a few suggestions that could serve as a jumping off point for your own exploration…
- Attitudes and beliefs that no longer serve you.
- Feeling drained from trying so hard to please others.
- Not finding the courage to say no to things you don’t want to do (including making love at times).
- Staying in a job or life situation that you hate.
- Complaining about a situation rather than taking action on your own behalf to change it.
- A dead relationship that’s beyond resurrecting. That you’ve not yet found the courage to leave.
- Harbouring resentment.
- Ruminating on bad or painful experiences of the past.
- Nostalgia. Reminiscing on good experiences of the past.
- Self-criticism or self-recrimination.
- Believing deep down that you don’t deserve good things in your life.
- Friendships on life support, in which the only thing you now have in common is the past.
- Unexpressed anger that you’re repressing.
- Nursing old hurts or humiliations.
- Unfinished business of any description.
- Other people’s expectations of you, or their agendas for your life.
- Harmful cultural, religious or societal influences. Believing the myths and lies that go with these.
- Comparing yourself to others.
- Engaging in repetitive thought that leaves you feeling drained.
- Self mistrust.
Your Sexuality And The Rest Of Your Life
Any of the above can strangle your growth, your expression, your life. And drain you of power. How can this not affect your erection? Your sexuality is not separate from the rest of your life. Yet one of the most insidious, damaging and destructive lies your culture supports is that it is.
You’re a whole being; body, mind, heart, soul, sex and spirit. Your sexuality is a core part of your human experience. It can be greatly influenced and shaped by what’s happening in the rest of your life.
So, Is E.D. An Age Thing?
Is it an age thing? Or is the amount of dead wood you accumulate throughout your life a factor? Is a good pruning of that now and then essential to your aliveness? To your erection?
To take a leaf out of nature’s book of wisdom, draw up your own list of what’s dead wood in your life. The more specific you can get, the better. Then cut it out, one twig, one branch at a time.
Freeing Yourself Up
Get professional help with some of the bigger branches if you need to. As you free yourself up you’ll feel yourself getting lighter and brighter. You may find many areas of your life become less stressful and more enjoyable. And your erections naturally become stronger.
Sexual energy, your life-force energy, fuels your erection. When you free up your energy you may delight in the discovery that you’re in charge of what you give energy to every day. And that you can make wise choices about where best to invest yours from this point on.
Can Tantra Massage Help?
Divine Ground Tantra massage or coaching can help. It can provide you with the precious space and time you need for your liberating process. Assisting your transformation from fragmented to integrated. From stressed and fearful to powerful and resourceful, animated and inspired.
Divine Ground Tantra massage or coaching can be a potent time for renewal. For you to take a step back from the busyness of your life. So that you can better hear the whispers of your own inner wisdom.
At times like these, when you need a gentle pressing of the ‘restart’ button, it’s perfect.